I was thirty-nine and had just about given up
When I was thirty-nine years old, I was painfully single and just about given up on ever finding someone. I’d dated, as I often said, everyone in the Western world. I’d either reject them or they’d reject me. Mostly, they rejected me… usually after about 6 weeks. What was happening I think is that when I’d first meet a man, I’d come across as funny, independent and strong. After we’d get to know each other a little bit, I’d start to let down my guard and reveal more of my real, vulnerable self. Then they’d reject me. Wow. It was tough. I had a deep belief I would meet my soul mate when I was forty years old. But honestly, there was no one on the horizon and I was resigned to one more dashed hope.
Then I read a book about visualizations. I’m not really a “woo woo” person, but I figured, what the heck, it’s worth a try. So I visualized myself in a lovely restaurant with soft lighting, sitting across a table (white linen and all) from a handsome man who looked deeply into my eyes and said the words, “I love you more today than the day I met you.”
And I practiced that visualization just almost every night, for about six months. Then I sort of forgot about it. I continued to date, mostly with the same results. After my fortieth birthday I met a man at an event. I thought he was incredibly handsome and so smart. He thought I was funny, independent and strong. We dated. I figured it would end the way all the others did. Except it didn’t.
We kept moving forward as a couple, becoming more committed as time went by. He asked me to move in with him, then he asked me to marry him. I said yes to both. And got pregnant almost immediately. We had the only middle-age, Jewish shotgun wedding I’d ever heard of. What a joy!
Then on our fifth anniversary we went to this lovely restaurant, with soft lighting and white linen table cloths. As we were finishing up our dinner he looked at me, raised his glass and said: “I love you more today than the day I met you.” I had totally forgotten about the visualization until he said those words. I was floored.
We’ve been married for twenty six years now and he’ll often say that to me. It feels wonderful each time I hear those words. And it just reinforces the fact… that that visualization stuff REALLY works.